Thursday night and still no callback.

How incredibly depressing that THIS is all I can think of. And then if I find it wasn’t me I think I’ll end up actually going to get professional help.

You know, it was so painful the first time I went to audition for the role of Kim. I had gotten my hopes up you know really banked on the fact that I REALLY wanted the part more than anything in the world to get it for me. At that time I was 68kg… and for a girl about 152cms that ain’t pretty, my hair was all scruffed and short and just…. wrong… and I still to this day think “What the hell was I thinking wearing those clothes?”

The audition piece was over-acted. I know that now having thought about it a while and gaining new experience. My voice was powerful, yet still inefficient, not the best it could have been.

I remember I lost myself there. Hanging around the front door of the Urban Dance Center that they may see me and perhaps realize their mistake and call me back. Pathetic isn’t it? I managed to get lost on the way to central station… from UDC!!!

And then I got over it. 

But then it was easier then. Nobody expected me to get the part anyway. That was a mere two-years ago.

Now…

Perhaps it’s because the stakes are lower, or because they’ve seen me sing. Maybe it’s because I’m no longer a horrible 68kgs. Maybe it’s all of them. But this time it feels more desperate.

Damn this stupid internet and it’s not saving everything…. I opened up so much and now NOTHING… is left I can’t do this again… screw this!

Categories: Uncategorized
No Comments »